Molested by a Dog!

I had something happen, about a week ago that I never posted.  Probably because it was pretty embarrassing and one of those "did that really happen" moments (I was actually saying "is this really happening" aloud AS it was happening.) So, anyways this is how it went:

It was last Sunday and I went for a morning run, around 7am.  No one was awake at my house, I brought my golden, Chloe along with me, like I usually do when I run in the morning. We took our first lap without incident, on our second lap...the last leg before getting home is when the "occurrence" happened.  First let me say, there's a house on the corner of our road that has two dogs chained outside.  I have never seen anyone play with these dogs, nor have I seen these dogs ever play with one another. Therefore, when I took the corner (IPod blasting away in my ear) I was shocked and quite frightened to have a huge black lab jump on my Chloe.  I was in all honesty thinking that I may have to try and stomp this dog if it was attacking her.  However, it was soon realized what the dog was ACTUALLY doing.  HUMPING her! Yes - this dog was trying to rape my dog! Well, that's not entirely true, he was attacking me too! Evidently, the dog had ripped the stake that he is usually anchored to out of the ground and took off after us, anchor chain & all.  I dropped my dog's leash and told her to "go home" (she's a little too stupid for that though), I at least thought she would get to the house and when someone went to let her in, they would realize that she'd come home - um - without me.  Nonetheless, she walked as slow as ever! All while I was literally being attacked by this lust driven-mud covered dog.  I took the stake and tried to kick it into some neighbor's house's yard - hoping that it would give me a chance to run for it (and let the people know that their dog pulled his stake out of the ground), but when I tried to take off, the dog ripped it right back out and this time jumped off MY LEGS onto MY BACK! YES, front paws on my shoulders, and proceeded to do what he could - to my back. This went on for what felt like forever.  Eventually, the dog got distracted and ran into a neighbor's yard and I took off, getting home in a muddy mess with scratches on my back and arms.  No one had ever known that I was gone, and my dog was just walking up the driveway as I came blazing past.  I was pretty astonished that this was what had began my morning... and after discussion - and laughter from my family - I realized that even if someone HAD in fact witnessed the molesting of a girl running, they wouldn't have bothered helping since the dog wasn't mauling me.  It probably looked pretty damn funny - thinking back - and if I wasn't "the girl".  Someone probably just stood there looking through their window, with their phone - video taping the whole thing.  Laughing all the while.

So there - that's it, one of the most interesting mornings ever experienced. :) I hope everyone gets a good laugh.